Dove Chocolate is getting lazier. I’ve had some go-arounds with them before, but I just can’t help but feel they’re slacking now. They appear to have gone all Web 2.0 on me, using the masses as their source of advice. How does this seem like a good idea to anyone other than the guy whose task it is to come up with things to put on chocolate wrappers?
This bag of Dove Silky Smooth Milk Chocolate Promises had 34 pieces of chocolate, which is the same amount the last bag in April of 2007, so I guess that’s good. There were only 8 different pieces of advice, which is both good and bad. Bad because there’s not a lot of diversity there. Good because I didn’t have to roll my eyes at more ridiculosity.
So here’s the list, complete with a number telling you how many times each appeared in the bag.
- (4x) Be the silver lining in another’s cloud. – Janet, Streetsboro, OH
I think if clouds have a silver lining, the rain they’re producing is most likely toxic.
- (6x) Indulge in the moments that matter most. – Nicole, Williston, FL
“Perhaps you could indulge in… oh, say, maybe some chocolate while you’re doing that?” I see what you did there, Dove Chocolate.
- (3x) It’s OK to not do it all. – Dawn, Wildwood, MO
Is it OK to not do any of it?
- (4x) Live every day up to your expectations, not others. – Reena, Brentwood, TN
I expected someone named “Reena” to come up with more inspirational advice.
- (3x) Look for love in unexpected places. – Leanna, Columbus, OH
I’d advise against looking on Craigslist, however.
- (6x) Love yourself. Dare to dream. Live on purpose! – Dana, Highland, IN
Sneaky Dana! She put in three pieces of sentimental mishmash when the form only asked for one!
- (2x) Say “I love you” every day to your loved ones. – Donna, Grand Junction, CO
Okay, this one’s actually a good idea. Fine. You’re one for eight, Dove.
- (6x) When you give with joy, joy is your reward. – Ida, Landing, NJ
It’s fun to replace “joy” with other words: “When you give with fire, fire is your reward.” “When you give with rabbits, rabbits [are] your reward.” “When you give with chicken pox, chicken pox is your reward.”
I wonder what a Venn diagram of “Hallmark Card Sayings” and “Dove Chocolate Advice” would look like. Probably just a big circle. Filled with saccharine. And puppies.