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Dove Chocolate is at it again. It thinks it’s so smart, with all of the advice and “wisdom.” Here’s today’s big life-changing piece of guidance:

This is the most ridiculous piece of nonsense that ever was. First of all, people do this anyway. Why does Dove Chocolate think a person is eating a bag of Dove Chocolate, hmm? It’s like reminding people to open their eyes when they drive or put a coat on when it’s cold outside — actually, now that I’ve typed that out, I realize that teenagers do need to be told those things, so maybe this particular piece of chocolate-encasing advice was meant for a teenager. Hmm. If so, that’s still a ridiculous thing to tell a teenager to do! Yikes.

Secondly, following my instincts is what got me where I am today, for the most part. So… yeah.

I was immediately reminded of the episode of Seinfeld entitled “The Opposite.” George decides that since his instincts have gotten him where he is, from then on he’s going to do the opposite of his first instinct. Here’s the pivotal scene:

George: Why did it all turn out like this for me? I had so much promise. I was personable, I was bright. Oh, maybe not academically speaking, but … I was perceptive. I always know when someone’s uncomfortable at a party. It became very clear to me sitting out there today, that every decision I’ve ever made, in my entire life, has been wrong. My life is the opposite of everything I want it to be. Every instinct I have, in every [aspect] of life, be it something to wear, something to eat – It’s all been wrong.

(A waitress comes up to George)

Waitress: Tuna on toast, coleslaw, cup of coffee.

George: Yeah. No, no, no, wait a minute, I always have tuna on toast. Nothing’s ever worked out for me with tuna on toast. I want the complete opposite of on toast. Chicken salad, on rye, untoasted … and a cup of tea.

Elaine: Well, there’s no telling what can happen from this.

* * * * *

Jerry: If every instinct you have is wrong, then the opposite would have to be right.

George: Yes, I will do the opposite. I used to sit here and do nothing, and regret it for the rest of the day, so now I will do the opposite, and I will do something!

Dove Chocolate and George Costanza: two diametrically opposed fonts of knowledge for the ages.

And, yes, before anyone starts in on me, I’m well aware that neither Dove Chocolate nor Seinfeld episodes are anything a person should be basing their life on. Thank you for worrying.

It’s really not my intent to turn this blog into an “all movies, all the time” format, but I feel it is my duty to tell you that the official trailer is out for Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull and that you can view it here.

Consider this my Valentine’s Day gift to you.

9:02 – So, in the final tally, four of us were here for all six movies, and two more were here for five of them, and there were nine different viewers over the course of the day. It was a lot of fun, and I can totally see doing a Lord of the Rings marathon at some point in the future…

Thanks for following along and joining in the fun vicariously!

8:55 – Emperor’s death = Galactic Party Time!

8:51 – Death Star II, R.I.P.

8:50 – Anakin Skywalker, R.I.P.

8:42 – Vader’s hand, R.I.P.

8:41 – I know it’s gotta be tough to be a Jedi, especially when you haven’t been one for long, but Luke really makes a lot of mistakes in the last battle with Vader – revealing the existence of his sister being a bit more major than most.

8:36 – “I know” – Leia, in a great reversal of roles from Empire.

8:30 – The Death Star is fully operational!

8:27 – I’m more easily convinced in the reality of lightsabers than with stick- and stone-wielding teddy bears beating Imperial troops.

8:16 – “Yub nub.” – Random Ewok

8:08 – “Leia, you need to stop kissing me, what with you being my sister and all.” -Luke

7:50 – The Ewoks have showed up. Bleah.

7:36 – Luke just figured out that Leia is is his sister. Nice work, Luke!

7:25 – Rancor is dead, Jabba is dead, and Boba Fett is Sarlacc Chow ™.

7:02 – Eric & Lance are making pancakes. Also, the Twi’lek dancer was just eaten by the Rancor.

6:59 – The return of Daniel.

6:51 – Also, sound has been restored to the left rear speaker! There was a loose wire. Woot!

6:48 – Start of Episode VI. I am happy to announce every episode started exactly when it was scheduled to do so.

6:37 – End of Episode V.

6:26 – “No, I am your father.” – Darth Vader

6:25 – Luke’s hand: R.I.P.

6:11 – “I know.” – Han Solo

6:09 – Exit Daniel (running errands for his mom, he says).

6:00 – “No, there is another.” – Yoda

5:53 – Exit Marshall.

5:46 – “And that is why you fail.” – Yoda

5:10 – Lee was awakened from dozing.

4:47 – Marshall has discovered that the left rear speaker is not producing any sound… Disconcerting.

4:40 – The arrival of Marshall!

4:39 – Luke just got hisself Wampa’d.

4:35 – The Empire Strikes Back: the best of the best!

4:25 – The Death Star has been successfully dealt with!

4:15 – Porkins: R.I.P.

4:02 – Obi Wan: R.I.P.

3:52 – C3-PO is the whiniest droid ever.

3:18 – Grrrrrrrrr. Greedo shot first. I got majorly ripped off here.

3:16 – The return of Eric!

3:05 – Another watcher has appeared.

2:53 – It would appear that these are NOT the original un-fiddled-with versions. GRRRRR.

2:28 – Now to the good stuff: Episode IV! Halfway there!

2:21 – Exit Jonell.

2:17 – End of Episode III.

2:12 – Jonell stopped by to pick up an extra Guitar Hero controller and also brought ice cream and root beer for floats!

2:11 – Darth Vader’s got a brand new suit. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

2:09 – Luke & Leia were just born.

1:51 – Update: Anakin’s bad, most Jedi are dead, and Yoda’s about to throw down with Darth Sidious.

1:18 – Mace Windu: R.I.P. :(

1:07 – In a surprising turn of events, a Sith Lord is revealed.

12:48 – Exit Eric. He had a prior engagement, but shall return.

12:29 – Hey, Padme’s pregnant!

12:26 – Daniel has arrived.

12:03 p.m. – Episode III begins!

11:36 – Pizza arrives! Lunch break!

11:35 – Episode II ends.

11:29 – Yoda vs. Dooku. FIGHT!

11:22 – Clone Troops versus Droid Army – EPIC!

10:41 – Anakin just killed a bunch Sand People. Tsk.

10:17 – The “romance” sections of this movie are some of the worst scenes ever committed to film, digital or otherwise.

9:33 – Yeesh… Hayden carries on the tradition of awful Anakins.

9:21 – Episode II started.

9:20 – Greg showed up.

9:10 – Episode I is done.

8:45 – Phantom Menace is a lot longer than a person remembers…

7:32 – Anakin speaks for the first time. Ugh. I realize good kid actors are hard to find, but seriously? This is the best we could do?

7:11 – Jar Jar’s first appearance. Up until this point, the movie seems like it’s going to be super cool. Jar Jar’s appearance is kind of like how when you’re leaning back in a chair and enjoying balancing, when all of a sudden you lean a little too far back and feel like you’re going to fall backwards — Jar Jar on screen is like feeling you’re falling backwards constantly.

7: 02 – The Wright brothers show up. This is pretty much the expected group for the first movie.

7:00 – Episode I begins!

6:55 – Lee shows up with donuts.

6:52 – Jeremiah is the first to show up.

5:42 a.m. – I woke up at 4:00 this morning and was wide awake, but like a fool I tried to go back to sleep. My plan was to get up at 5 and do some last minute preparing for guests. Instead, I kept hitting the snooze and now I’m late.