February 5th, 2011

I’m Down

Song Info (from Beatlesongs):”I’m Down” is on the Beatles For Sale album, and was 90%  McCartney, 10% Lennon. It was released as a single in the States on July 19, 1965, and didn’t crack the Hot 100. The Beatles used it in their live sets in ’65 and ’66, and it was the very first song Aerosmith ever recorded – they used it as a demo.

It wasn’t too long after I got married that I fell down the stairs into the basement.  No, that isn’t some way of saying my wife hits me – I actually fell down the stairs.

Technically it was only one stair, the last one.  I had left the light off because I didn’t think I needed it.  I hadn’t needed it the previous 200 times I’d gone downstairs.  This time, though, the dimness, the light color of the carpet on the stairs, and the light color of the linoleum in the basement joined forces like a malevolent Voltron bent on destroying me.

I don’t remember how I landed, I just remember that it hurt. I’d like to think I spun effortlessly and quickly in the air to land on my back, but I doubt that happened. Not even my penchant for exaggeration will let me get away with that one. I landed unceremoniously and stayed there for a while, lamenting my lack of grace, my stupidity, and my inability to turn the experience into a good story.

I fell. That was it.  I didn’t even do it with any style. I wasn’t hurt in any long-lasting way, and I wasn’t bleeding. I went on about my business after a few minutes of lying on the basement floor, and that was that.

Except…

Every time I go down those stairs now, I get nervous.  I’ve been using stairs for over 30 years now, mostly incident-free.  But this one little tumble has messed me all up.  There’ve been days when I get to the bottom of the stairs and I feel with my foot for the next step, just to make sure.

It’s been six months.  I’m not sure how to stop thinking about that last step.

3 Comments on “I’m Down”

  1. Brian Arnold says:

    This reminds me a lot of the car accidents I’ve been in, but in particular, the 2006 accident that totaled our Sunfire.

    Lisa and I both were rather afraid of driving at all on the freeway or at any real speed for at least a couple of years. Heck, I only feel like I’ve made some real progress in the past year or so, where I’m finally comfortable starting to push the vehicle a bit again.

    It wasn’t even our fault, but the immense consequences of someone else’s error scared us off of doing anything related to driving.

    I’ve been in other car accidents before, like when I had someone rear-end me doing 45mph when I was at a standstill, but I was only 18 at that time, and I bounced back faster. I think I still subconsciously had some of the invincibility ideal that children tend to have. Now that I’m older, things stick with me for longer, and I suspect it’s similar for you too.

    So far, the best solution for us has just been time.

  2. woejillis says:

    I fall down the stairs all the time and that doesn’t stop me.

  3. Angela says:

    Hey, I fell down those stairs, too! You really should just put some red tape on the floor surrounding that bottom stair because if you’re not looking, the colors make it blend to where you THINK you’re on the last stair, but you’re not.

    It didn’t really hurt that much, but every time I fall (then included) I kind of just lie on the floor for a minute or so before getting up. Calms the nerves before jumping back into the fray of walking.

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