A fun IM conversation I had the other day that I wanted to share with you. “Brian” gave me permission, so don’t think I just save and post every IM convo I have. “Brian” isn’t the “Brian” you think he is, either.
Brian says: and we’re back
Brian says: Today I’m talking to Mark.
Brian says: So, Mark, tell me about your latest movie.
MarkZ says: It’s an action-drama-comedy set in war-torn Oregon in the late 2040’s.
MarkZ says: I play the village blacksmith who has fallen for the emperor’s daughter
Brian says: Interesting
MarkZ says: In a strange twist of fate, it is discovered that my horse is the twin sister of the emperor’s favorite horse, so it becomes a power struggle, really, as horses are above all else in deciding the law.
MarkZ says: I don’t want to give away too much, but…
MarkZ says: well…
MarkZ says: let me just say this:
MarkZ says: “Two horses enter…one leaves.”
Brian says: WOW!!!!!!!!!
Brian says: I’m so amazed.
MarkZ says: The movie’s called “Horsefight: 2049”
Brian says: Too bad you don’t play the part of a miner
Brian says: cause then you’d be Miner 2049’er
MarkZ says: in the original drafts, I did
Brian says: I’m guessing you encountered some legal issues?
MarkZ says: but we decided that wartorn Oregon was really no place for mines
Brian says: ah
MarkZ says: and we wanted to keep the scenic view of the California border.
Brian says: So no spelunking – I must admit, I’m mildly disappointed.
Brian says: I only hope you watch out with those hot pokers.
MarkZ says: that’s not to say there is NO spelunking! Don’t be hasty!
Brian says: Oh ho!
MarkZ says: Again, I don’t want to reveal too much…
Brian says: Hang on, it’s time for a break – Kevin, let’s have some more generic crappy music!
MarkZ says: Let me just say this about the miners –
Brian says: Get that annoying girl to sing, too
MarkZ says: if I may, when the music’s done
MarkZ says: –
Brian says: Oh sure, go ahead – the music already ended, it’s not like they really play for a full commercial duration
MarkZ says: The coal I use for my smithy fires has to come from somewhere!
Brian says: Good point.
MarkZ says: I’ve said too much!
Brian says: So tell me about your love life.
MarkZ says: I’m not really comfortable discussing that on the air.
Brian says: Word has it that you and J. Lo really hit it off
MarkZ says: Again,
Brian says: “Markifer” is the word, man.
MarkZ says: let me just say,
MarkZ says: the restaurant had an unfortunate seating arrangement…and that’s all I want to say about that.
Brian says: Well, let’s hope it doesn’t do to *your* career what it did to Ben’s, m’kay?
Brian says: *cheap fake laughter*
MarkZ says: I actually talked to Ben about that – seems I’m next up for the Daredevil suit!
MarkZ says: *ha ha ha*
Brian says: Very nice, I hear he’s a great guy to work with.
Brian says: Just watch that cane of his, if you know what I mean.
Brian says: *wink wink*
MarkZ says: well, *he* won’t be in it – the part’s designed for those who’ve been seen most recently with JLo
Brian says: Ah, I see.
Brian says: I thought that was Gigli 2
MarkZ says: That’s an insider secret direct from Hollywood – you didn’t hear it from me!
Brian says: Maybe *I* need to try and hook up with J. Lo to save my faltering career!
MarkZ says: There are less drastic measures a person could take…
MarkZ says: Start with a TV miniseries, maybe
MarkZ says: or a drug habit
MarkZ says: either way, you’re better off
Brian says: Hey, I’ll be like Rush
Brian says: Now, if I could do that, AND get J. Lo, man. I’d be set.
MarkZ says: Live the dream, man.
Brian says: However, I don’t want to horn in on your gig, man.
MarkZ says: No no – it’s all good.
Brian says: or should I say, your gig-li!
MarkZ says: I’m going a whole new direction after Horsefight.
Brian says: I’d sure hope so.
MarkZ says: I’m getting back to nature, no preservatives, carbs, or clothes.
MarkZ says: Or windows.
Brian says: No more ‘drates? Man, that’s radical.
MarkZ says: well, that’s the firs week –
MarkZ says: then you cut out calories all together
Brian says: Man, I bet you burn the fat superfast.
MarkZ says: it’s pretty radical, but I think it’s the wave of the future.
Brian says: You should market that – the Dr. Z diet.
MarkZ says: well, it’s not original with me – I actually picked it up from the trainer on Horsefight – Master Kenudo.
MarkZ says: He’s brilliant.
Brian says: I don’t believe I’ve heard of him – can you list some of his prior works?
MarkZ says: I just want to bring his message of peace, acceptance, and winking to the world.
MarkZ says: Oh, he doesn’t write.
MarkZ says: He lives, man.
Brian says: Right, I mean, something like past movies he’s worked on
MarkZ says: Well, let’s see – I think he did some of the foal work on “The Horse Whisperer,” but his most famous picture is the epic horse-on-horse battle royale in “The Game of Kings III: Down to the Horses.”
Brian says: That was an amazing flick.
MarkZ says: Really, it’s the defining horse fight scene of all time.
Brian says: It truly is.
MarkZ says: He could have rested on his achievements after that, but I think you’ll find the fight scenes in “Horsefight: 2049” to be a leap beyond
MarkZ says: Some of the wire work will blow your mind.
Brian says: Wow – I can’t imagine
MarkZ says: The horses started training for these roles about three years ago.
MarkZ says: You can look in their eyes and tell that they’re changed, man.
MarkZ says: It’s a way of life for them, now.
Brian says: That is sweet, sweet stuff.
MarkZ says: Well the film comes out next month – we’re taking some of Spider-Man 2’s thunder, but, oh well!
MarkZ says: it’s a dog-eat-dog world out there.
MarkZ says: or,
MarkZ says: a horse-fight-horse world, if you prefer.
Brian says: That does sound a bit more appropriate
Brian says: I’m told it’s time for a break – up next, our musical guest Jessica Simpson will be singing the main theme from Horsefight!
MarkZ says: Thanks for having me here today, Brian.
Brian says: Glad to have you. Feel free to stop by anytime.
MarkZ says: Thanks – I’ll do that after my sabbatical.
Brian says: Don’t lose too much weight now! *forced laugh*
MarkZ says: *guffaw*
MarkZ says: are we off the air?
Brian says: Yes, yes we are now.
MarkZ says: whew
Brian says: Now get the [heck] off of my set.
And here’s a picture of the movie poster we made later.