April 8th, 2004

Horsefight: 2049

A fun IM conversation I had the other day that I wanted to share with you. “Brian” gave me permission, so don’t think I just save and post every IM convo I have. “Brian” isn’t the “Brian” you think he is, either.


Brian says: and we’re back

Brian says: Today I’m talking to Mark.

Brian says: So, Mark, tell me about your latest movie.

MarkZ says: It’s an action-drama-comedy set in war-torn Oregon in the late 2040’s.

MarkZ says: I play the village blacksmith who has fallen for the emperor’s daughter

Brian says: Interesting

MarkZ says: In a strange twist of fate, it is discovered that my horse is the twin sister of the emperor’s favorite horse, so it becomes a power struggle, really, as horses are above all else in deciding the law.

MarkZ says: I don’t want to give away too much, but…

MarkZ says: well…

MarkZ says: let me just say this:

MarkZ says: “Two horses enter…one leaves.”

Brian says: WOW!!!!!!!!!

Brian says: I’m so amazed.

MarkZ says: The movie’s called “Horsefight: 2049”

Brian says: Too bad you don’t play the part of a miner

Brian says: cause then you’d be Miner 2049’er

MarkZ says: in the original drafts, I did

Brian says: I’m guessing you encountered some legal issues?

MarkZ says: but we decided that wartorn Oregon was really no place for mines

Brian says: ah

MarkZ says: and we wanted to keep the scenic view of the California border.

Brian says: So no spelunking – I must admit, I’m mildly disappointed.

Brian says: I only hope you watch out with those hot pokers.

MarkZ says: that’s not to say there is NO spelunking! Don’t be hasty!

Brian says: Oh ho!

MarkZ says: Again, I don’t want to reveal too much…

Brian says: Hang on, it’s time for a break – Kevin, let’s have some more generic crappy music!

MarkZ says: Let me just say this about the miners –

Brian says: Get that annoying girl to sing, too

MarkZ says: if I may, when the music’s done

MarkZ says: –

Brian says: Oh sure, go ahead – the music already ended, it’s not like they really play for a full commercial duration

MarkZ says: The coal I use for my smithy fires has to come from somewhere!

Brian says: Good point.

MarkZ says: I’ve said too much!

Brian says: So tell me about your love life.

MarkZ says: I’m not really comfortable discussing that on the air.

Brian says: Word has it that you and J. Lo really hit it off

MarkZ says: Again,

Brian says: “Markifer” is the word, man.

MarkZ says: let me just say,

MarkZ says: the restaurant had an unfortunate seating arrangement…and that’s all I want to say about that.

Brian says: Well, let’s hope it doesn’t do to *your* career what it did to Ben’s, m’kay?

Brian says: *cheap fake laughter*

MarkZ says: I actually talked to Ben about that – seems I’m next up for the Daredevil suit!

MarkZ says: *ha ha ha*

Brian says: Very nice, I hear he’s a great guy to work with.

Brian says: Just watch that cane of his, if you know what I mean.

Brian says: *wink wink*

MarkZ says: well, *he* won’t be in it – the part’s designed for those who’ve been seen most recently with JLo

Brian says: Ah, I see.

Brian says: I thought that was Gigli 2

MarkZ says: That’s an insider secret direct from Hollywood – you didn’t hear it from me!

Brian says: Maybe *I* need to try and hook up with J. Lo to save my faltering career!

MarkZ says: There are less drastic measures a person could take…

MarkZ says: Start with a TV miniseries, maybe

MarkZ says: or a drug habit

MarkZ says: either way, you’re better off

Brian says: Hey, I’ll be like Rush

Brian says: Now, if I could do that, AND get J. Lo, man. I’d be set.

MarkZ says: Live the dream, man.

Brian says: However, I don’t want to horn in on your gig, man.

MarkZ says: No no – it’s all good.

Brian says: or should I say, your gig-li!

MarkZ says: I’m going a whole new direction after Horsefight.

Brian says: I’d sure hope so.

MarkZ says: I’m getting back to nature, no preservatives, carbs, or clothes.

MarkZ says: Or windows.

Brian says: No more ‘drates? Man, that’s radical.

MarkZ says: well, that’s the firs week –

MarkZ says: then you cut out calories all together

Brian says: Man, I bet you burn the fat superfast.

MarkZ says: it’s pretty radical, but I think it’s the wave of the future.

Brian says: You should market that – the Dr. Z diet.

MarkZ says: well, it’s not original with me – I actually picked it up from the trainer on Horsefight – Master Kenudo.

MarkZ says: He’s brilliant.

Brian says: I don’t believe I’ve heard of him – can you list some of his prior works?

MarkZ says: I just want to bring his message of peace, acceptance, and winking to the world.

MarkZ says: Oh, he doesn’t write.

MarkZ says: He lives, man.

Brian says: Right, I mean, something like past movies he’s worked on

MarkZ says: Well, let’s see – I think he did some of the foal work on “The Horse Whisperer,” but his most famous picture is the epic horse-on-horse battle royale in “The Game of Kings III: Down to the Horses.”

Brian says: That was an amazing flick.

MarkZ says: Really, it’s the defining horse fight scene of all time.

Brian says: It truly is.

MarkZ says: He could have rested on his achievements after that, but I think you’ll find the fight scenes in “Horsefight: 2049” to be a leap beyond

MarkZ says: Some of the wire work will blow your mind.

Brian says: Wow – I can’t imagine

MarkZ says: The horses started training for these roles about three years ago.

MarkZ says: You can look in their eyes and tell that they’re changed, man.

MarkZ says: It’s a way of life for them, now.

Brian says: That is sweet, sweet stuff.

MarkZ says: Well the film comes out next month – we’re taking some of Spider-Man 2’s thunder, but, oh well!

MarkZ says: it’s a dog-eat-dog world out there.

MarkZ says: or,

MarkZ says: a horse-fight-horse world, if you prefer.

Brian says: That does sound a bit more appropriate

Brian says: I’m told it’s time for a break – up next, our musical guest Jessica Simpson will be singing the main theme from Horsefight!

MarkZ says: Thanks for having me here today, Brian.

Brian says: Glad to have you. Feel free to stop by anytime.

MarkZ says: Thanks – I’ll do that after my sabbatical.

Brian says: Don’t lose too much weight now! *forced laugh*

MarkZ says: *guffaw*

MarkZ says: are we off the air?

Brian says: Yes, yes we are now.

MarkZ says: whew

Brian says: Now get the [heck] off of my set.


And here’s a picture of the movie poster we made later.

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