April 1st, 2004

I Don’t Like It

I hate April Fools Day.

It’s because I hate pranks. Always have. Any time someone talks about putting someone’s hand in a bowl of warm water or calling them to pretend they’re the IRS I just get a disgusted feeling in my gut. You won’t find me doing pranks.

Oh, I’ve done some. But I won’t any more. Nope. Sorry.

I hate how I feel when I get pranked, and that’s why I won’t do it to anyone else. I hate how I’m sucked into their story and, once I’m totally feeling bad for whatever’s happened to them, WHAM! April Fools! I hate it.

For as much as I distrust humanity in general, I want to believe them. When they tell me their dog died just this morning, of course I believe them. Why would anyone lie about that? How is that a prank, anyway? I’m totally feeling bad about them losing a dog, only to have them yell, “April Fools!” and start laughing.

You can’t possibly understand how much I hate that. I’ve hardly ever been more serious in my life. I hate pranks.

If you were planning to pull one on me today, please – don’t do it. I am really, seriously asking you: please don’t do it.

I’ll appreciate it very much.

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