April 27th, 2004

Buy It!

I got one of those irritating phone calls on Saturday. You know the ones – from your credit card company telling you they’re giving you some incredible thing to help protect your account.

First of all, I couldn’t understand the lady. She had some sort of accent that I couldn’t quite place. If you’re going to try to sell me something, let me at least be able to tell what it is! I might take you up on it! (I got to thinking this could be a ploy – confuse the buyer and he might buy it! I began to imagine it was actually a nice Iowan girl who had never left the MidWest but was faking an accent just to try to snare some sales.) But, no, I still couldn’t tell you what it was.

So I ask the all-important question: what’s this gonna cost me?

“Oh, nothing, nothing.”

Then, after verifying the spelling of my name and my address, I hear the little phrase “as long as you have a zero balance on your .”

“I’m sorry, what was that?” I ask.

Same muttered phrase. With the muttering and the accent, there was no hope I was ever going to understand it. “Just forget it, I don’t want it.”

“Let me clarify…” she began.

“Nope, just cancel it.”

“Let me clarify…” she said again.

“No! Cancel it!”

“Let me clarify…” she said again.

“You are not listening to me, I do not want it!” I said, rather excitedly.


I waited…

And a bit more…

And then I realized she had hung up. Good. Call back when you can tell me what it is I’m getting and just how much it will actually cost me.

Leave a Reply