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My all-time favorite Weird Al song is “The Biggest Ball of Twine in Minnesota.” He somehow perfectly captures a Midwest slice of Americana in a way that both satirizes and celebrates a way of life that is perfectly happy to drive “three whole days and nights” to see “the biggest ball of twine in Minnesota.” It’s catchy and fun, and I think it’s the best song he’s ever written.

My family was never one to visit these sorts of attractions (the biggest family vacation I remember was a visit to Washington, D.C.), so I didn’t have much experience to draw on to enjoy the song.

Until now.

This weekend, Kat’s sister (We’ll call her “Missy”) came to town with the express purpose of making us all go see the “World’s Largest Ball of Paint.”

There are a few things you should know about the World’s Largest Ball of Paint:

1) It is not in our town.
2) It is, in fact, over an hour away.
3) It looks bigger in person.

We met the nice man and his wife that you see on the main page I linked to there, and we got to paint a layer on the ball ourselves. We painted layer #19,069, in case you were wondering, and we each got a certificate declaring that fact. We painted a yellow layer, at Kat’s request (it was her birthday weekend, therefore, her choice.)

The World’s Largest ball of Paint is not in a museum. It is not easy to find. It is in a shed built specifically to house the World’s Largest ball of Paint on Mike and Glenda Carmichael’s property. It weighs over 1,700 pounds. It has been featured on Jimmy Kimmel Live and is in the Guinness Book of World Records. Tom Green taped a segment for his show at the actual location, but his show got cancelled before the segment aired. I asked Mike if Tom Green behaved while he was there and Mike said, “No.”

The World’s Largest Ball of Paint was not the only activity we packed into the day. We also saw an improv group in Indy (they weren’t very good; in fact, the farther away I get from their performance, the worse I think it was) and ended the day with some Cosmic Bowling, which is like regular bowling except the lights are off, the music is louder, and you’re surrounded by teenagers.

I’ll soon forget the improv group from Indy and my bowling experiences will be eclipsed by new ones before long, but I’m not likely to forget the World’s Largest ball of Paint any time soon.

Now if only I could write a song about it…

It’s been a while since I had a good improv show. Whether it’s because I’ve been stressed or because audience numbers have been down or because I’m not getting enough taurine and guarana, I don’t know. All I know is that I haven’t had a good show in a long time.

Last night, I had a decent show. It wasn’t a great show, but it was decent. It was decent enough for me to put off the “I don’t know, maybe I’m just done” thoughts I’d been having. I was worried that maybe I’d used up all my funny. It was nice to discover I had a little bit left.

Trying to explain an improv show is a lot like describing a dream or a video game. Think back to the last time someone told you a dream they had: “So, I was at my uncle’s house, but it was really Buckingham Palace. You and Jimmy were there, only it wasn’t really Jimmy, it was an owl with a moose head…” And it goes on from there. Video game: “After you get the feather (you have to hit the invisible box right after the three turtles), then you can fly, but only in limited bursts. Fly to the pipe that has teeth and get the hammer. Then…”

So, I’ll just say this about the show: my favorite scene I participated in was the film noir version of Cro-Magnon baseball players discovering the moon. Really.

And with that, now I’m looking forward to the next show.

It’s my friend Kat’s birthday today!

Happy Birthday, Kat!

Here’s how you, faithful blog reader, can be a part of it. Last night, for her birthday party, everyone gave her a book (or two) as a present. It was supposed to be a book that meant a lot to that person, and they were supposed to write in the front of it why that book was important to them.

(Apparently Gwyneth Paltrow did this and it’s a fantastic idea. That doesn’t mean you should name your kid “Apple,” though.)

Anyway, to be a part of Kat’s birthday, leave the name and author of your favorite book in the comments section, along with why it’s an important book to you. I’ll collect them and make sure she gets the list. I know you don’t know Kat, but do it any way. She will think you are fabulous.