MadMup.com

It’s important for a person to find his purpose in life, I think. Today I think I discovered mine.

It is this: to learn things and share them with you so you don’t have to learn them yourself.

Today’s lesson is this: if you are planning to carry a 9-volt battery in your pocket, be sure to empty all the change in that pocket beforehand.

Why? Because if you don’t, that battery is likely to heat up hotter than you’d imagine a 9-volt battery could.

There’s your Thing Learned! ™ on the day.

Two things happened this past Friday night that were fairly exciting:

1) I had a good improv show, the first in a long time. I’ve been in several shows over the last few months, but they’ve mostly been … okay (imagine waggling of a hand at this point). Nothing spectacular, but not awful. Just okay. “Okay” is fine if people are laughing, but it gets old and gets depressing. “On fire” is more where you want to be, and I was told by a couple of fellow performers that I was.

Though I can generally tell when I’m “off,” I rarely can tell when I’m “on.” It’s weird, this self-critiquing gene I have. It is maddeningly selective. It was nice to hear from others that I was having a good night.

(Please don’t take the preceding paragraphs as boasting, as that’s not how they’re meant. I have way more off nights than on anymore.)

2. At the show, the lady who did the announcing for the show (Kathy) said, “Hey, I’ve got something for you.” I only ever see her at shows, so I couldn’t imagine what it might be. Turns out, it was a program signed by John De Lancie – and not just signed, but signed, “To Mark.”

Not all of you are geeks, so I shall further explain: John de Lancie played “Q” on Star Trek: The Next Generation. Sure, he’s done other things, but this is his claim to fame. In the very first episode of ST:TNG (“Encounter at Farpoint”), when Captain Picard and the gang run into weird happenings, Q shows up and says he’ll be testing the crew and watching them to see how they’ll react. Since he can do pretty much anything, it’s a little frightening. The point of the character, of course, was to show Gene Roddenberry’s beliefs that humanity is basically good and can overcome evil on its own. It’s a bunch of hogwash, but it’s at the core of Star Trek. The Q episodes were always some of the most enjoyable (and he even turned up on Deep Space 9 and Voyager, largely because fans loved the character), so it’s a real treat to have his autograph.

He was in town with Ed Asner and Alley Mills (she played the mom on “The Wonder Years”) to do a production of “The Great Tennessee Monkey Trials” at Purdue. (Semi-interesting side-note: John replaced James Cromwell, who also played Zefram Cochrane, an important figure in Star Trek history, in Star Trek: First Contact. Zefram Cochrane invented the warp drive, without which interplanetary travel would take far too long.) Kathy did lights or sound or something for the show and ended up spending a lot of time with John de Lancie. Kat and Matt went to the show, and I had asked them somewhat jokingly to get John’s autograph for me, never figuring they could. Kat passed my request along to Kathy, and there’s your story.

If I were going to start keeping a record of how many celebrity autographs I had, the official number would now be “1.”

Though it’s still technically Autumn, Winter is right around the corner. It rained most of the day today, but “they” are saying there’s a possibility for snow as soon as tomorrow.

This is not cool.

I grew up in Wisconsin where the winters will push you down, take your lunch money, and call you names. I can remember a specific time when the wind chill was -83° Fahrenheit… and I can also remember going shopping with my mom and my aunt during that stretch.

Here in Indiana the winters are more likely to whine at you and complain that you never hang out anymore, but it’s still annoying. The first year I was here I wore my Spring jacket until the second week of December. Sure, it was a little chilly by that time, but it wasn’t too bad. Since then, though, I’ve lost my tolerance for cold weather. Every year I move the Winter Jacket Breakout up, and this year it looks like tomorrow’s the day.

I still haven’t turned the heat on in my apartment, though. I’m holding out as long as I can on that. I’d much rather sit on the couch bundled up in a sweatshirt and several blankets than have the heat on, for some reason. This really isn’t a change from summer – I like to have the air conditioning on cold enough during the summer that I’m comfortable with a blanket wrapped around me. It doesn’t make sense and it gets expensive, but that’s just how I am, for one reason or another.

David Letterman likes to keep the Ed Sullivan Theater where The Late Show is taped pretty chilly – around 50° by some accounts. When asked why, he generally says “To keep the comedy fresh!” I’d like to think my chilly apartment accomplishes the same thing, but my few visitors would probably tell you differently.

I do like the fact that the cats are more likely to curl up next to me when it’s chilly in the apartment. They apparently don’t realize it’s my fault it’s so cold. I like the extra attention I get from them, even if it is under false pretenses.

I’m sure I’ll fold soon. It’s great to go to sleep at night when it’s chilly, but getting up in the morning when it’s cold is almost more than I’m able to do. The three minutes between getting out of a warm bed and getting into a hot shower are the longest three minutes of the day.

For now, though, I’m happy to bundle up when I get home. As soon as I have to start scraping frost of the TV in order to watch it, though, I’ll probably turn the heat on.

Probably.