March 15th, 2009

23 Years

I got some sort of bug this week that laid me out for most of it, causing me to miss a few days of work. The worst part, though, is that this bug ended my streak. There’s no delicate way to say this, but I hadn’t thrown up since eighth grade. I don’t know why, exactly, I just hadn’t. I’ve been sick plenty of times since then, and I’ve even felt like throwing up many times since then, I just never did. My personal theory is that I hated throwing up so much that I just decided not to do it. Apparently that only gets you so far – 23 years in my case.

Turns out I still hate it as much as I did. It’s terrifying and gross and I hate it. Worse, it’s caused me to not trust my body anymore. For 23 years, it’s been, “Hey, I might be sick, but at least I know I won’t throw up.” Now I no longer know that. If I don’t know that, what else do I not know? It might seem odd to you, but I’m on pretty unsteady footing right now.

Ah, well. I had a good run.

February 29th, 2008

No Joke

When I was younger, I would get joke books from the library, books by Bennett Cerf featuring jokes and puns that were probably old when they first appeared on vaudeville stages years before being published in his books. For some reason, I would read these books over and over (which I’m sure affected my sense of humor) and try to memorize my favorites. It never seemed to work, and the worst ones would get stuck in my brain.

There was one about a lion who got it in his arrogant head to go around and pester the rest of the denizens of the jungle asking them why they weren’t as strong and powerful as he was. After several beasts hemmed and hawed their way through their answers, the joke ended with an ant answering the lion with, “Gosh, man! I’ve been sick!”

Yeah, pretty bad, I know. I guess I’m just feeling a kinship with the ant these days. I can pinpoint almost to the minute when I got sick, or at least when I started feeling it. A week ago this past Monday Greg and Marshall were over playing some games and I had to go meet Ned for a bit. As I was leaving the meeting with Ned, around 9:15, I started shivering so much that I actually had trouble putting my car key in the ignition. Up until that minute, I never knew a person could shake that much from (what I thought was) the cold. After I spent the whole night alternately burning up and freezing, I figured out I was maybe sick.

After a day and a half of that, I decided to go to the doctor. Ryan volunteered to take me, and I took him up on it because I didn’t feel like I could drive, even though the doctor was about two blocks away. The doctor took X-rays and poked at me and pretty much said I’d need to wait it out, but she prescribed antibiotics “just in case.” Lee took me after he was off work to pick up those and the codeine-laced cough medicine, and I also stocked up on soup and a few other things.

That was Wednesday. From then until I went back to work this past Monday, I spent all of my time either in bed or on the folded-out couchbed in the living room, feeling sick enough that it was even hard for me to play my moves in Scrabulous.

I’m still not feeling all that great, but I’ve managed. I’m looking forward to not moving much this weekend, if I can help it.

It’s funny how disconnected I got in such a short time. In six days I saw two people I knew, and they were all at the front end. After Wednesday, I didn’t see anyone until I went back to work. I didn’t talk on the phone because talking made me cough, and I didn’t even keep up on email that much. It made me realize how easy it is to drop out if you want to: stop picking up the phone, quit updating your various online presences, don’t answer email – moving into a cave in the mountains is hardly even necessary at that point.

I’m not sure why, but it’s easy for me to tend in that direction. I like people and it’s good for me to be around people, but it seems like when I’m left to my own devices, I turtle. It’s probably directly related to my laziness. It’s hard to be around people, hard to be friendly, hard to not say stupid things and hard to not hurt people. It’s easier to hide away, the idea being that if I’m not around people, I’m not causing them problems.

That, of course, is a negative, almost fatalistic, outlook on life, and it certainly isn’t healthy. But, just like some person tends to be a shopaholic and someone else tends to drive over the speed limit, this is my tendency. And, just like those people have to be constantly vigilant, so must I. Being sick makes it too simple to take the easy route.

March 14th, 2007


9:48 p.m. – That’s pretty much it. It’s time for bed. Still feeling pretty lousy, I have to say. Good night, folks.

9:03 p.m. – Home again, having orange juice.

8:28 p.m. – Headed “into town” to get more NyQuil and orange juice.

8:17 p.m. – Finished and submitted my Ghost Rider review.

8:01 p.m. – Crying at this movie, even though I’ve seen it before.

7:07 p.m. – Eating Cinnamon & Brown Sugar Pop-Tarts and a bottle of lemon raspberry water for dinner. Review is coming along.

6:09 p.m. – Okay, I bought, downloaded, and played through the TMNT game, and still have made very little progress on this Ghost Rider review. I’ve now put in the movie Stranger Than Fiction and will focus on getting this review done. Sickness update: my throat’s getting sore now. Blegh.

4:12 p.m – Am officially not going to improv rehearsal tonight.

2:30 p.m. – Got distracted by the Viva Piñata demo. Haven’t made any headway on the review. Feeling kind of lousy. :(

12:44 p.m. – Pizza has been eaten, an episode of Heroes has been watched, and the reason my new TiVo was so cheap has been discovered. The audio on the TiVo cracks and pops and cuts out completely. This is not good. Also, I’ve not made any headway on my game review because I’m chatting with people again.

11:34 a.m. – Pizza has been delivered: thin crust, half cheese, half bacon. Mmm! I am also downloading the Viva Piñata game demo and have started on my overdue Ghost Rider game review. I am also applying a dose of Zicam – are you familiar with this stuff? It’s goopy gel-like stuff that you apply to the inside of your nostrils to fight a cold. So gross. I’m trying it out to see how it does. So far what it’s done is gross me out.

11:16 a.m. – No food to speak of in the house, so I’ve ordered pizza from Monical’s to be delivered. Get this – they only take cash at the door or credit over the phone! No checks! Doesn’t make sense to me. I mean, they’re going to the place, right? So they know where the person lives, right?? As much as I didn’t want to give my card number over the phone, I’m hungry, so I did it. Gotta tip the dude in quarters now. Speaking of quarters, I am downloading the demo version of TMNT, which I suspect will make me buy and download the full version. This seems as good a time as any to remind you there’s a new TMNT movie coming out on March 23.

10:54 a.m. – Finally done with surfing. Chatting with people I don’t normally get to during this time of day because I’m at work made it take a bit longer. Now I’m headed downstairs to see what there is to eat since I am starving. I’m thinking about starting a movie, but I’m aware that Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles was released for Xbox Live today, so I might just download and play that.

9:02 a.m. – Nutmeg had been batting at me for an hour or, so I got up and fed the cats. Now I’m having a bottle of Archer Farms Lemon Raspberry Spring Water (because liquids are important, don’t ya know) and I’m checking my daily blogs, comics, and forums.

3:06 a.m. – The best part of the NyQuil has worn off (the part that keeps me asleep) and I’m stuck with the worst part of it (the part that makes my brain feel like it’s been packed with cotton.) Not only does it feel like everything’s in slow motion, but my nose is runny and stuffed up at the same time. Back to bed for me.