I Can’t Stop
Last night was a big night: I watched my first movie of the year.
Sure, that might not seem like a big deal to you, but last year I watched 371 movies, an average of 31 a month. I decided to try going a month without watching any movies, you know, just to see. It went fine. I watched a bit more TV and read a bit more and.. other stuff, I guess.
But yesterday was a new month, so I thought I’d watch a movie. Since it was so momentous, it couldn’t be just any movie, it had to be an awesome movie.
It had to be Batman.
It also kind of felt like this was the sort of event that needed to be shared with people. I put forth the idea of having some people over and was encouraged to do so. An announcement was made, plans were put in motion, snacks were purchased, the whole deal. And, wonder of wonders, seven people from the Career Class at church showed up.
I like to think that many of you who read the site here like to do so because my foibles and quirks make you feel better about your own, either by making yours feel less severe in comparison or make you feel less alone in your similar ones. To that end, I feel I should confess the following:
I talk during movies.
Constantly. Non-stop. And the thing is, I hate that I do it! It’s always the stupidest stuff! Here are the gems I subjected them to last night:
- The guy playing Gordon and the guy playing Alfred are the only two actors in all four of the Batman movies.
- She was married to Mick Jagger.
- Hey, Wendy, does his tie go with that shirt?
- How old were you all in 1989? (The most surprising answer: “Five.” Seriously!)
- Best. Batmobile. Ever.
- That right there is when a million boys fell in love with Vicki Vale. (When she showed up onscreen.)
- Here’s what was wrong with the sequel, Batman Returns: 1) Batman TWO should have been about Two-Face! Hello! 2) Too many villians, too much going on. 3) More origins were messed with.
- He had that light installed in the Batmobile just in case someone was going to be sitting in the passenger’s seat and he needed to blind them.
- Watch his utility belt when he looks up at the helicopter – see it move? Why didn’t they reshoot that?
- I hate this part because it messes up the whole origin of Batman! The Joker DID NOT kill Bruce Wayne’s parents!!!
- This movie is just to get you in the mood for Prince in the Super Bowl halftime show.
- Batman wouldn’t have killed The Joker – it’s what he does! He spares villians! He makes it a point not to kill villians!
- Iconic hero shot coming right up! Wait for it… there!
See? See what I mean about it being inane? And this is just a small sampling.
I need some sort of help.
A big thanks to Matt, Marshall, Wendy, Melissa, Lee, Jeannie, and Eric for coming to my inaugural movie night and for not killing me.