Fists Of Steel Magnolias
I’m a movie buff. I’m not a movie elitist, though I am a DVD-elitist (or, a “DVDlitist,” if you prefer). I like all sorts of movies and all sorts of genres, and by “like” I mean I am on some sort of movie Prozac – I don’t have many highs or lows. There aren’t many movies I hate and there aren’t many movies I love. As of right now I’ve rated 2,221 movies on NetFlix, and discounting the “Not Interested” ratings, there are less than a hundred, I’d guess, that vary from the 3-star, middle-of-the-road rating of “I liked it.” Very, very few venture into “I loved it” or “I hated it” territory. The 2- and 4-star ratings get a fair smattering, but 3 wins buy a landslide.
This movie buffness is both a blessing and a curse. It lets me into the elitist crowd when I like the latest indie darling, but it also gets me thrown out forcefully from that same club when I like the latest popcorn flick. I’d give specific examples, but I’m about to embarrass myself anyway, so why not just wait for it?
Since today was Tuesday, today was a Best Buy Day. My friend Ryan and I used to hit Best Buy every week, but the summer schedule has kept us from that for a while. He needed to go today, though, because The Simpsons Season 8 came out. I knew there was nothing released today that I needed, but decided to go anyway. I had some Reward Zone coupons and there’s usually something I can get.
In fact, by the time I got there, I’d pretty much decided to get the Bruce Lee Ultimate Collection I’d had my eye on for a while. It’s got every Bruce Lee movie he ever made except Enter the Dragon, and I already had that one, of course. The set was a little more than I wanted to spend on something like that, but the coupons made it reasonable. So when we got there, we headed to the DVD section and picked up our sets. Then, as is our habit, we wandered around the store for a bit. We’d normally play some Guitar Hero, but Purdue University is almost back in session so the whole town’s crawling with college students, and some of them had infested the PlayStation demo station.
While wandering, I noticed that Steel Magnolias was on sale for $6 this week and half-jokingly said something about getting it. Ryan said something derogatory and we passed by. The more we wandered, though, the more I decided to get it. I’d been thinking about the movie lately and hadn’t seen it in a while, and the price was pretty near what a rental would be. So on one of our passes, I lagged a bit behind Ryan and grabbed a copy, deftly hiding it behind my Bruce Lee set.
Well, of course, when we got to the checkout, he saw it and started ribbing me. This apparently gave Cashier Boy free reign to also rib me, because he started in. I defended myself as best I could (“Hey, I’m getting FIVE Bruce Lee movies, too!”), and tried to hurry the paying process along.
At this point, the college girl who had meandered into our checkout line (after the previous ribbing, it should be noted) spoke up and said something to the effect of “Steel Magnolias and Bruce Lee movies?!” and something else which was drowned out in the approving catcalls from Ryan and Checkout Boy. She went on to say something about how she liked Steel Magnolias, but it was too little, too late. I’d now been heckled for my movie tastes by random strangers in Best Buy.
I asked Checkout Boy to give me a bag so I didn’t have to be humiliated further, and he offered to double-bag it so people couldn’t see through the semi-transparent bag. Smart aleck.
Ryan and I went our separate ways and, later on, I watched Steel Magnolias. And I teared up. So there.
And you know what? That’s not even the most embarrassing movie in my collection. That would have to be A Walk to Remember.
Laugh if you must, but it’s a solid 3-star movie. Just like 2001: A Space Odyssey.